So, until my zillion posts today, it had been a while since I blogged. I love blogging. It is relaxing and helps me feel connected with those of you who read it. However, there have been some things going on lately that we have not really felt comfortable discussing publicly, a lot of things up in the air, and a lot of uncertainty about our plans for the near future.
My primary identity is child of God. Until a few months ago, that was absolutely, undoubtedly, unarguably the main focus of my life. Then I started getting busy and busier until I started to give up on it. When hard times financially came knocking despite my hard work, I got mad and felt like I needed to take the controls for a while to steer myself into safety. Boy, was that a lonely place to be. I am back to working on my relationship with God and really seeking His will and His heart. The same goes for Aaron.
The result: we are not moving after all. Not any time soon, anyway.
A few months ago, I blogged (on my old blog, I believe) about Aaron's desire to go to A&P school so he can get back into aviation. Aviation is his passion and a joyous, enjoyable part of his life. Then in January, we just got so fed up with our situation (crappy, low-paying, non-career jobs and a teeny little house with loud, obnoxious neighbors). We decided one day that we were going to move anywhere around Baltimore, DC, or northern Virginia, but I don't think either of us was completely excited about it. Aaron spent a week in Baltimore meeting job recruiters, going to career fairs, and going business to business handing out his resume. I recently had an interview with a very well known design firm in Leesburg. Basically, we have been working our butts off working here and looking for new jobs up there. Some of it was pressure from our families and trying to live up to others' successes, some from our own greed and insecurity. But a few days ago, I told Aaron that I didn't feel right about the whole thing. Confession time: I have gone to church twice in 2012. I have read my Bible probably 5 times. I have just been so far away from God. How in the world can I make a big life decision like that out of my own greed when I know it's not the direction God would have me go? Aaron's former decision to go to A&P school was realized after much soul-searching and prayer. I remember praying with him, "God, we feel this is the direction you're leading our family, but we cannot take on any more student loan debt. Please provide and we'll do this even when we don't know how we'll get by." And we felt at peace. Then we interjected our own concerns-- what about money? This is a 40-hour a week, year long program-- we'll be living on my (Jen's) crappy income. How will we pay for it-- we can't afford more student loan debt. We're ready to move on and move up, this is going to take a long time and slow us down. Etc. That's when we decided to move and jumped on that bandwagon.
Aaron made sacrifices so I could finish college. We lived off his lone income for three years before I graduated, and I am more than happy to do the same so that he can achieve his dream. I don't know how He will do it, but God will provide. That's as much as we are going to share at this point, but when we know more, I will update again.
To read about our anniversary, click here.
To read about our adventure today, click here.
No comments:
Post a Comment